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That is superb. Absolutely wetting myself here. I know exactly what you mean.
I’ve watched Mickelson and Tiger on TV and thought the very same thought you had about Monty. Phil’s talent is incredible and in certain places such as short game you’d have to argue he actually had more talent than Tiger but I just don’t get why these guys can’t try and be as fit as possible.
“A man with boobs, thinking about cake”
Very good !!! Golf blog post of the year !!!
BTW I think you are forgetting about the Dolly Parton of man boobs, John Daly. Again, similar to the others mentioned, awesome talent, but just never got his body in the right shape.
Very true.
Why do these sportsmen not see this? They are good, but never the best (not consistently anyway) – the best are always those that prepare most. If you’re in a sport and someone is in better shape than you, chances are you’ve lost already.
I’ll remember this next time I’m thinking about a Mars bar, thankyou.
Never a more true statement made.
Physically unfit = mentally unfit.
If you want to be a winner you have to behave like a winner.
What a superb blog entry. Very funny indeed.
I hate it when I put enough weight on to get man boobs. That is always the signal for me to stop dodging the salad.
Whatever the sport, all talent being equal, the fittest guy will win. Look at the state of Andy Fordham in the darts recently.
The Calc post was spot on.The guy has a chequered history with putters,his last 2 were given to a kid by the 18th and the other was thrown in a lake I believe.This time he walks into a shop and pays retail for a putter than we all use,non of the tour prototype bollocks.He then shoots a course record.Nothing to do with the putter as you say,its all confidence.By the way fit enough for golf means you are fresh on the 18th as you are on the first and no offence but a fellow countryman of yours is a better example than Monty……………Darren Clarke.He is all over the place with his weight and his game seems to have suffered.His undies seem tto be dripping wet every tournament at the mo,ent,he must suffer some chaffing.
Interesting, and amusing, stuff. I have been trying to lose some of my own “fat back” in order to improve my swing. I wonder if Monty’s trousers have an elasticated waist band?
He has forearms like an old woman compared to Tiger, despite the considerable extra girth of his “central trunk.”
Thanks for your comments all.
To be honest – I’m a long way off a Tiger physique myself and one of the benefits of a post like this is that it hopefully will prevent me from stepping into “boob” land again myself. It’s a pretty horrible thing and I’ll get a hell of a lot of abuse if I get porky again myself after such a pompous post as this.
Martin – your point about the forearms is probably more valid. I’ll never forget seeing Berhard Langer’s forearms at the Irish Open in 1981 as an impressionable 15 year old. They were huge. Monty’s are a mile off even that.
To be honest I have a lot of respect for Monty but it does frustrate me to see all that talent being wasted. His day isn’t over yet but he’s gotta be very close to it. Vijay Singh is the classic example of how you can extend your career through relentless work. He clearly works at least as hard as Tiger and by all reports hits the gym nearly as often. I just wish Monty would give himself every chance to do it in these last few years.
Dave – you are of course correct about Darren Clarke but we always forgive him for everything over here because to the Northern Irish we regard him as a God
. We like our heros flawed though. See George Best, Alex Higgins and even Keith Gillespie for examples.
But Clarke is one of the reasons I have been mulling this over for so long. He specifically lost the weight he had originally because he said he couldn’t comfortably play 36 holes in a day like they sometimes have to. He did it to “give himself the chance” which is what I reckon Monty needs. It’s hard to argue that he doesn’t have at least as much raw talent as Monty and almost any golfer on tour at the moment but like I say we give him a break and obviously it has been a very tough few years.
Sean – your Andy Fordham comment is spot on. Too fat to even bother to turn up!!
Del Boy (can it really be you?
) – John Daly is another one I always give a bye-ball to. For no real reason than I just love and adore his short game. I studied his short game nearly as much as Seve’s during the year and as such I decide (in a purely arbitrary fashion) to leave him out of it. Don’t forget though he has won a couple of majors.
To be honest he’s one of those fabulously flawed geniuses that probably just needs to operate like that. The Mickelsons and Montys of this world are much more conventional characters. But like you say – it’s a hard one to justify.
Great stuff John …. Are you related to Paddy Keilty ?
V. entertaining. You sound like a typical Bogeyman like myself though …
Keep it coming …. Seve is my hero too … Rem the putt at Irish Open 198?
Every sport needs it’s flawed geniuses. It would be fecking boring otherwise.
Have you noticed that just about all the new talent looks more like Tiger? I realize they’re younger and haven’t had time to develop ‘boobs’ yet, but I think Tiger has inspired and drawn in more ‘athletes’ to the game. Golf is no longer the activity you try only after failing to make the team in another sport. I’m simply amazed by the talent and athleticism of the young guys I see at our local courses. These guys could be playing any other sport they wish. Anyway, thanks for getting my morning off with a good chuckle! I’ll think twice before I eat another piece of cake
You are absolutely correct my Artful friend. Of course it can be taken too far. Sergio has clearly been hitting the gym pretty hard and had a pretty impressive set of muscular “boobs” recently.
I was looking longingly at a piece of cake myself earlier but I need to wait a while and let this post slip into obscurity before I can get “boobie” myself again if I’m not to be branded a hypocrite.
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